Tammy's Teachings

Building successful kids one parent at a time.

Keep the End in Mind

If I were to summarize the best parenting strategy my husband and I committed to it would be this: keep the end in mind. One day — way sooner than you think, your children will grow up. They will move away, build their own careers and families. When you break everything down to the most important qualities you want for your children when they become adults, what stands out as the most critical? I wanted my kids to become independent, fulfilled, productive, … [Read more...]

Love Unconditionally

Children are like mirrors. They reflect their parents’ every strength and flaw in ways that test everything a parent believes to be true about themselves. As parents, sometimes we like what we see, admiring our skills and beautifully executed strategies. Other times, however, we bump into a version of ourselves that we don’t like and never thought we’d become. … [Read more...]

Consider the Message

“Thank you, God, for the damparents.” ~ Jacob Harris, age 3-4 When our kids were little we had a nightly prayer ritual. Each night we would thank God for various blessings including friends and family members. For a couple of years, Jacob replaced the word “grandparents” with “damparents.” We’ve laughed throughout the years over the irony of his mispronunciation. Clearly his intent was good. But, the actual words used could have easily led to misunderstandings. … [Read more...]

Challenge the Norm: How My Grandma Lived Her Way

He was a little guy, perhaps around 8 years old with sandy blonde hair that reached his shoulders. His dad was twice his size. Tears fell down the little guy's cheeks as his dad spanked him hard and yelled something to him about manners. My grandma and I were right outside of Disneyland’s crowed entrance, leaving after a full day. In a huff, my grandmother grabbed my hand and walked over to the dad. … [Read more...]

The Secret to Raising Independent Children

All that friendly advice starts the minute folks discover you’re expecting a baby. I’m more than two decades into this journey, and people still share opinions about how I should parent. “When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name.” ~Bonnie McFarlane … [Read more...]

Live With Integrity

Living with integrity means consistently operating within one's own value system. Simple, eh? Not so much. The big things are obvious. Keep your promises, hold to your vows, and set priorities accordingly. But then, life and all its pesky annoyances start to wear us down. Eventually, all parents hear something like this: “But, mom you promised.” “Yes, but…” … [Read more...]