As parents, we often feel the pressure to have all the answers. While imparting wisdom can be important, it is worthless if we’re not heard. If we are to parent well, we must improve our ability to listen. Empathic listening is the one practice upon which all parenting successes and failures rest. Stephen R. Covey explains empathic listening in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Empathic listeners “seek first to understand, then to be … [Read more...]
How Much Screen Time is Too Much?
As the debate continues over how much screen time kids should be exposed to, many parents in Silicon Valley have taken an extreme position. Not only have they forbade their children any screen time, but they also restrict their children’s nannies. … [Read more...]
3 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became a Parent
I have a theory about the popularity of the hit show This is Us. For me, it is a television show that dives deep into the complexities of parenting. Even with the best of intentions, and a whole lotta love, Jack and Rebecca still got a few things wrong. Yes, even the perfect dad, Jack, made mistakes. There are things in life you only learn through living. Sometimes, a little reading, mentors, and, now, the internet can help. However, lessons in life can't always be … [Read more...]
3 Things Every Parent Should Remember About Being Good Enough
As you can tell by the picture, I wasn’t very good at planning my children’s birthday parties. I’m more the kind of mom that remembers birthdays just a week or so ahead. That is why I forgot the candles for my son’s sixth birthday as you can see in the picture. … [Read more...]
Making Memories of Us
Every Halloween I make chili in the crockpot. After school and work, we would have dinner before we went trick-or-treating. One October after my son had left for college, I mentioned the possibility of not making chili on Halloween. Upon hearing that, my daughter (tearfully) insisted I keep the tradition. It was then I realized the importance of traditions. … [Read more...]
Encourage the Heart
“You are my sunshine, My only sunshine. You make me happy When skies are gray. You'll never know dear How much I love you. Please don't take My sunshine away.” This song was a staple in our home. I must have sung it a million (okay, maybe a thousand) times when my kids were growing up. They were young. I suppose my intent was to remind them how much I adored them. … [Read more...]
Keep the End in Mind
If I were to summarize the best parenting strategy my husband and I committed to it would be this: keep the end in mind. One day — way sooner than you think, your children will grow up. They will move away, build their own careers and families. When you break everything down to the most important qualities you want for your children when they become adults, what stands out as the most critical? I wanted my kids to become independent, fulfilled, productive, … [Read more...]
Love Unconditionally
Children are like mirrors. They reflect their parents’ every strength and flaw in ways that test everything a parent believes to be true about themselves. As parents, sometimes we like what we see, admiring our skills and beautifully executed strategies. Other times, however, we bump into a version of ourselves that we don’t like and never thought we’d become. … [Read more...]
Consider the Message
“Thank you, God, for the damparents.” ~ Jacob Harris, age 3-4 When our kids were little we had a nightly prayer ritual. Each night we would thank God for various blessings including friends and family members. For a couple of years, Jacob replaced the word “grandparents” with “damparents.” We’ve laughed throughout the years over the irony of his mispronunciation. Clearly his intent was good. But, the actual words used could have easily led to misunderstandings. … [Read more...]
Challenge the Norm
When did elementary and middle school promotions become such big events? We have parents arriving an hour or two early to get a good seat with balloons and flowers in hand. I’m not sure why or how these promotions became such a phenomenon. … [Read more...]