You fold the laundry, answer the school email, reheat the leftovers, and try to remember if you signed that field trip form. All while wondering—why does this feel so much harder than it should?

If you’ve asked yourself that lately, you’re not alone. And you’re not imagining it.

Parenting today really is harder than it used to be.

Not because this generation of parents is softer or less capable.

It’s because the ground under family life has shifted, and most of us are still trying to find our footing while holding everything together.

This isn’t about personal failure. It’s about systems that haven’t kept up. And the more invisible those pressures are, the more likely we are to blame ourselves.

Let’s talk about what’s actually going on—and what might help.

How Did We Get Here?

Let’s compare what parenting looked like then versus now.

• Time spent with kids has doubled. In the 1960s, dads spent just a few hours a week on direct care. Now it’s over seven. Moms’ time has increased, too—even as most now work outside the home.
• Child care costs have exploded. Infant care now costs more than in-state college tuition in many places. And yet there’s no guarantee you’ll even get a spot.
• There’s still no paid leave. The U.S. remains the only wealthy country that doesn’t guarantee paid time off for new parents.
• The cost of doing “the right thing” keeps rising. College is more expensive. Extracurriculars are more competitive. Families feel like they can’t afford to make a wrong step.
• And then there’s the tech shift. A generation ago, kids watched Saturday morning cartoons. Now they carry the entire internet in their pocket. Parents aren’t just guiding behavior anymore—they’re managing screen time, online safety, social media exposure, and the mental health impact of being always connected.

It’s not that we don’t love our kids. It’s that the job keeps getting bigger—without more hours in the day.

Why the Pressure Feels So Personal

It’s not just about the number of tasks. It’s about how few systems we can count on to catch us when we fall.

Parents are doing more, but support has disappeared. The result is this low-grade, always-on anxiety.

And because so much of this stress is invisible, we think it’s our fault.

We compare ourselves to how things looked in our own childhoods—or what we see online—and think: Why can’t I keep up?

It’s like being handed a 500-piece puzzle but no picture of what it’s supposed to look like. Every parent is trying to piece it together as they go.

What Can We Do About It?

We can’t fix everything. But we can do something powerful.
Stop blaming ourselves for feeling overwhelmed.

And then we can start making small moves that actually help.

Here are a few shifts that can lighten the load.

• Name what’s structural. If applying for childcare or school placement feels impossible, that’s not on you—it’s the system. Calling it what it is helps lighten the mental load.
• Pick your pressure points. You don’t have to do it all. Choose one or two areas that matter most to your family, and let the rest be “good enough.”
• Lean on predictable routines. A Sunday reset, no-phone evenings, or a regular family walk can offer rhythm without requiring perfection.

   

One More Thing: Talk About It With Your Kids

You don’t have to explain every policy or parenting stat. But your kids do benefit from hearing that family stress isn’t their fault—and that it’s okay to talk about hard days.

These small openers can help keep the conversation going.

• “Sometimes grown-ups feel like everything is happening at once. Do you ever feel that way too?”
• “This week feels full. Is there anything we can say no to, just for now?”
• “When things feel busy or messy, what helps you feel calm?”

   

These small conversations create trust. They remind your child that connection matters more than performance.

You’re Not Alone in This

If parenting feels harder right now, it’s because it is.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means you’re doing your best in a world that keeps shifting the goalposts.

And that, all by itself, is something worth honoring.