I have a theory about the popularity of the hit show This is Us. For me, it is a television show that dives deep into the complexities of parenting. Even with the best of intentions, and a whole lotta love, Jack and Rebecca still got a few things wrong. Yes, even the perfect dad, Jack, made mistakes. There are things in life you only learn through living. Sometimes, a little reading, mentors, and, now, the internet can help. However, lessons in life can't always be … [Read more...]
Encourage the Heart
“You are my sunshine, My only sunshine. You make me happy When skies are gray. You'll never know dear How much I love you. Please don't take My sunshine away.” This song was a staple in our home. I must have sung it a million (okay, maybe a thousand) times when my kids were growing up. They were young. I suppose my intent was to remind them how much I adored them. … [Read more...]
Love Unconditionally
Children are like mirrors. They reflect their parents’ every strength and flaw in ways that test everything a parent believes to be true about themselves. As parents, sometimes we like what we see, admiring our skills and beautifully executed strategies. Other times, however, we bump into a version of ourselves that we don’t like and never thought we’d become. … [Read more...]
Consider the Message
“Thank you, God, for the damparents.” ~ Jacob Harris, age 3-4 When our kids were little we had a nightly prayer ritual. Each night we would thank God for various blessings including friends and family members. For a couple of years, Jacob replaced the word “grandparents” with “damparents.” We’ve laughed throughout the years over the irony of his mispronunciation. Clearly his intent was good. But, the actual words used could have easily led to misunderstandings. … [Read more...]
Challenge the Norm: How My Grandma Lived Her Way
He was a little guy, perhaps around 8 years old with sandy blonde hair that reached his shoulders. His dad was twice his size. Tears fell down the little guy's cheeks as his dad spanked him hard and yelled something to him about manners. My grandma and I were right outside of Disneyland’s crowed entrance, leaving after a full day. In a huff, my grandmother grabbed my hand and walked over to the dad. … [Read more...]
The Secret to Raising Independent Children
All that friendly advice starts the minute folks discover you’re expecting a baby. I’m more than two decades into this journey, and people still share opinions about how I should parent. “When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name.” ~Bonnie McFarlane … [Read more...]
Live With Integrity
Living with integrity means consistently operating within one's own value system. Simple, eh? Not so much. The big things are obvious. Keep your promises, hold to your vows, and set priorities accordingly. But then, life and all its pesky annoyances start to wear us down. Eventually, all parents hear something like this: “But, mom you promised.” “Yes, but…” … [Read more...]
Honor Failure
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill When we see success we admire its perfection. We applaud the magic of actors, athletes, writers, musicians, and others who make it all look so easy. But, here’s the deal. Very rarely does anyone succeed without boatloads of failure along the way. … [Read more...]
Parenting Life Episode 1: Alex’s Take on How to Raise Independent Kids
Alex is my outgoing 23-year-old daughter. If anyone knows anything about our parenting style, it’s our own kids. You should know that Alex has never been shy, nor does she hold her opinions close. If anything, she’s learning to temper her emotionality with thoughtful reasoning. Since Alex was little, she has studied people. She watches, thinks, and works to figure out what makes people tick. Her dad and I were not always immune to her ability to use her knowledge … [Read more...]
Motherhood: The Pressure to be Perfect
I’m a recovering perfectionist. In fact, during job interviews, I used to claim perfectionism as my biggest weakness because I believed it to be more a medal of honor. As a mother, perfectionism is a really high bar to set for oneself. My husband has always said God gave us children to humble us. He is right about this, just don’t tell him; I’ve convinced him I’m always the right one in the family. … [Read more...]