We are a family who values independence. My daughter jokes about how she and her brother were expected to pack their own lunches in fourth grade. It’s true, though. While I made sure the shelves were filled with things they could easily make, they were responsible for their own lunches. … [Read more...]
How to Master the Art of Listening
As parents, we often feel the pressure to have all the answers. While imparting wisdom can be important, it is worthless if we’re not heard. If we are to parent well, we must improve our ability to listen. Empathic listening is the one practice upon which all parenting successes and failures rest. Stephen R. Covey explains empathic listening in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Empathic listeners “seek first to understand, then to be … [Read more...]
Encourage the Heart
“You are my sunshine, My only sunshine. You make me happy When skies are gray. You'll never know dear How much I love you. Please don't take My sunshine away.” This song was a staple in our home. I must have sung it a million (okay, maybe a thousand) times when my kids were growing up. They were young. I suppose my intent was to remind them how much I adored them. … [Read more...]
Keep the End in Mind
If I were to summarize the best parenting strategy my husband and I committed to it would be this: keep the end in mind. One day — way sooner than you think, your children will grow up. They will move away, build their own careers and families. When you break everything down to the most important qualities you want for your children when they become adults, what stands out as the most critical? I wanted my kids to become independent, fulfilled, productive, … [Read more...]
Love Unconditionally
Children are like mirrors. They reflect their parents’ every strength and flaw in ways that test everything a parent believes to be true about themselves. As parents, sometimes we like what we see, admiring our skills and beautifully executed strategies. Other times, however, we bump into a version of ourselves that we don’t like and never thought we’d become. … [Read more...]
Consider the Message
“Thank you, God, for the damparents.” ~ Jacob Harris, age 3-4 When our kids were little we had a nightly prayer ritual. Each night we would thank God for various blessings including friends and family members. For a couple of years, Jacob replaced the word “grandparents” with “damparents.” We’ve laughed throughout the years over the irony of his mispronunciation. Clearly his intent was good. But, the actual words used could have easily led to misunderstandings. … [Read more...]
The Secret to Raising Independent Children
All that friendly advice starts the minute folks discover you’re expecting a baby. I’m more than two decades into this journey, and people still share opinions about how I should parent. “When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman came up and she said, I have one word for you: epidural. And I was like, Oh my God, thanks. But we already picked a name.” ~Bonnie McFarlane … [Read more...]
Honor Failure
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill When we see success we admire its perfection. We applaud the magic of actors, athletes, writers, musicians, and others who make it all look so easy. But, here’s the deal. Very rarely does anyone succeed without boatloads of failure along the way. … [Read more...]
How to Talk to Teachers
5 Strategies to Improve Communication With Teachers Communication is the foundation of successful relationships. Yet, I would guess that many parents have a story of miscommunication between them and their child’s teacher. As the pressure increases on teachers to do more with less, communication is more critical than ever. … [Read more...]
5 Things Parents Wish Teachers Knew
An Insider's Glimpse Into Parent Thinking I hated reading logs. As a teacher, I only assigned them when it was mandated. As a parent, I admit I often signed them without my kiddos having read 30 minutes, or whatever. … [Read more...]